Jesse Watters Proudly Displays the Vast, Empty Space Between His Ears

Again, please get this man off the air.

By: Austin Abbring

August 19, 2026

Jesse Watters continues to do Jesse Watters things. I try to refrain from writing about everything this man says because I could dedicate an entire blog to picking apart his ill-guided, misleading, non-evidence-based arguments and have enough content to post daily. Sometimes, however, he just goes on these rants that are so horrific and incoherent that I just cannot help myself. I try to separate what is presented on “The Five” from the Republican Party and its base of voters, but it is almost impossible since it is the most-watched daily program in the news and clearly draws a large audience. That audience’s median age is around 68, but that age group still gets out and votes in droves. Now I am being incredibly generous in calling Fox News actual news. They have a record-setting, nearly billion-dollar defamation settlement they could tell you all about for pushing their propaganda.

Now, this Jesse Watters diatribe will not result in any lawsuits, but wow, is it bleak, disturbing, and embarrassing. In a continued Red Scare-style attack against the further-left Democratic wing that has massive momentum right now, Mr. Watters tries his hand at presenting his own Medicare for all plan that will topple and destroy the notion of any resemblance to a nationalized healthcare plan. If you do not feel like watching the clip linked above, which I could hardly blame you for, do not worry; I have it transcribed below, as I will go through each point Watters presents.

This is a doozy. Before diving in, keep a couple of quick facts in mind. The United States spends significantly more on healthcare than any other developed nation, yet we have far worse healthcare outcomes. In fact, we are dead last in overall outcomes despite spending so much. Also remember that roughly 50,000 working-age Ameircans die prematurely every single year due to a lack of healthcare or healthcare coverage. Finally, similar to the first point, the U.S. is the only high-income developed nation with no form of universal healthcare.

Now, with that in mind, I present to you: The Watters Plan.

The Watters Plan:

Point A: Deport all Somalis.

“The Somali pirates, they stop stealing our booty.”

This, of course, refers to the Medicaid fraud sweeps in Minnesota earlier this year, where right-wingers had their racism on full display against the Somali residents who committed fraud. State and federal agencies have investigated widespread Medicaid fraud in Minnesota for over a decade. This was not some deep-state cover-up to protect an immigrant community or whatever other nonsense the Right has tried to sell. Now, yes, I obviously condemn Medicaid fraud (and all types of fraud), as well as the individuals who commit such crimes. They should all be held to the appropriate measure of the law. However, there were dozens and dozens of people from all sorts of different ethnic backgrounds involved in these Medicaid fraud schemes in Minnesota.

The Somali population in that state is around 107,000. There are 80 indicted individuals who identify as Somali-American. Again, the actions of a few are not representative of the majority. I do not understand why this is so difficult to get through right-wingers’ skulls. The Somali population in Minnesota is around 2% of the state’s population. Of that population sample, .0007% have been indicted for fraud. Given these Earth-shattering numbers, I am delighted to see this is Watters’ number one priority in his universal healthcare plan for Americans. We are really cooking with some high-octane propane right now.

Point B: Destroy immigration.

“You slash immigration. That’s just a supply and demand issue.”

You really have to love how the first two elements of “The Watters Plan” are just blatantly xenophobic. Clearly, the main issue behind our out-of-control, broken healthcare system in this country is the result of immigration. Only Jesse Watters could make that kind of connection; I have to hand it to him. The relationship between immigrants and healthcare is an extremely diverse issue. It is not a simplistic, black-and-white issue as Watters tries to make it out to be.

I would suggest that slashing immigration would be devastating to our healthcare industry for numerous reasons. Undocumented immigrants prop up programs like Medicaid and Medicare. They contribute around $6 billion directly to Medicare and around $100 billion to Medicaid through federal and state taxes annually, and they cannot legally draw from any of these programs. Now, I am not in favor of undocumented immigrants being exploited this way, which is why I am a strong advocate for reforming our immigration processes and getting people their documents faster, but that is an entirely different argument for another time. Large portions of our healthcare industry, particularly home health and long-term care, also rely on immigrant labor. The extremely restrictive immigration policy of the Trump administration plays a significant role in the healthcare worker shortage in our country.

Legal immigrants also help offset premium costs when they enroll in healthcare plans, as they are young, healthy, and do not frequently visit hospitals. Overall, immigrants help keep programs solvent through tax contributions and reduce risk-associated costs from elderly and sick populations by increasing the pool of health insurance enrollees. The only areas where immigrants can be a “drain” on health outcomes are at the local level, if there is a sudden, large influx of immigrants to a particular region and the local health facilities are strained. Again, this is nuanced, as this is not always the case in every population settlement. The only other concern is costs under the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act (EMTALA). This act, which was probably the only thing I would give Ronald Reagan credit for, ensures that hospitals cannot turn down any patient for any reason who is seeking emergency medical care. This is the only instance where undocumented immigrants receive federal funds for healthcare. Annually, EMTALA care provided to undocumented individuals costs $3.8 billion, which is just .4% of total Medicaid spending. Clearly a supply-and-demand issue here. Simple.

Point C: Instill a law that is already on the books.

“No more doctors getting kickbacks from the pharmaceutical companies to prescribe drugs.”

I will keep this short and sweet, as this is so ridiculously easy to debunk. For a man paid to lie on network television, this is so lazy. There are already statutes against this exact big-pharmaceutical kickback-to-doctor relationship, aptly named the Anti-Kickback Statute. This prohibits doctors and physicians from accepting any sort of bribe to prescribe or push products from a particular pharmaceutical company. The Federal Open Payments program monitors this, which is a transparency effort overseen by the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS). It collects data on financial ties between drug and medical companies and physicians. The Stark Law also prevents doctors from referring patients to any location in which they have a financial stake. The number of doctors and physicians who have violated these laws and been held criminally liable is extremely small. This is not a widespread issue.

Are these laws perfect? No, there are still grey areas which could lead to conflicts of interest. Is there a way to fix that? Of course there is. There are at least two things I could think of off the top of my head to address further Watters’ concern about what he seems to believe are daily kickbacks. One is MEDICARE FOR ALL, YOU MORON. Medicare for all would have price controls on prescription drugs, as it is the government that is negotiating our drug prices. This would help rein in that relationship between big pharma and physicians. I am not a huge fan of Joe Biden, but the Inflation Reduction Act in 2022 is an example of this. For Medicare recipients in Parts B & D, prescription drug costs dropped significantly, particularly with the $35 insulin cap, which has had a positive impact. The next step would be antitrust measures against big pharma. Breaking up that concentration of wealth and power would go a long way toward lowering fraud or violations of the Anti-Kickback statute. Unfortunately for Watters, Republicans doing any form of antitrust would be astonishingly rare. Gotta love laissez-faire conservatism.

Point D: Get a job. Even if you have a job, it’s not good enough.

“How about get a job? Because most companies provide healthcare. If you’re 30 and went to grad school and are an Ethiopian barista, like your friend in Colorado, she doesn’t have health insurance because she doesn’t work.”

This is a calculated attack on DSA candidate Milat Kiros, who was fired from her law firm for posting critiques of law firms, including her own, for opposing pro-Palestine protests and then worked as a barista to help make ends meet prior to her primary victory in Colorado’s 1st district. Putting that aside, by definition, a barista most certainly falls under what one would quantify as a “job”. I was unaware that baristas do not work. Apparently, it is an exciting volunteer gig to bust your ass getting people’s coffee and breakfast orders prepared. Does Jesse know something that we don’t? I am doubtful of that. I guess shame on Milat Kiros and all the other baristas working that J-O-B for not doing something more manly and tough, like becoming ironworkers, pipefitters, or lumberjacks. That is real work. Real work, which Jesse Watters is certainly aware of as an evening television co-host who gets makeup applied by a makeup artist before he sits in one of those comfortable chairs in front of a nice desk and espouses fantastical claims every weekday.

Just to be clear as well, there are around 20 million working-age Americans who are uninsured because they cannot afford it, their job does not offer any plans, or states have not extended Medicaid (looking at you Republican states). In fact, around 44% of Medicaid recipients are working full-time. So this is not a “people being lazy issue”. It is an employers not paying their workers enough issue. It is a private-market inefficiency and failure issue.

KFF.org

Last year, only 55% of workers were insured through their employer. So no, simply having a job does not automatically equate to having health insurance. This universal healthcare plan offered up by Watters and, by extension, ostensibly the Republican Party is a joke. A cruel joke.

Point E: Utilize the Google doctor on your phone

“Also, MAHA, ever heard of it? Make America Healthy Again. It’s called eat right and exercise; maybe try that. I do it, and I don’t whine and go to the doctor for every ache and pain. I hurt my knee the other day at the beach. I hyperextended it. Now, I don’t know if I hyperextended it; I self-diagnosed, but I didn’t run to the doctor and, like, jack up everybody’s healthcare bills. I did my own research on the internet, and I’m almost as explosive as I used to be. We have to start treating everyone like babies. Cradle-to-the-grave health insurance? I don’t want that. This is a self-reliant country built on rugged individualism, and I’ll pay for poor and elderly healthcare; I will not pay for healthy, wealthy, hard-working Americans’ healthcare. They have to pay their own way.”

First off, that is an embarrassing anecdote. I’m not sure that is something I would casually toss around on air. Telling people to be rough and rugged, to tough it out, to be self-reliant is nonsense. That is part of how we got to this broken system we have now. There are already enough people who do not go to the doctor or receive treatment because of the financial burden; suggesting they wait it out and self-diagnose through Google is draconian. Cradle-to-the-grave health insurance, incidentally, is an immensely popular position: 55-65% of Americans support Medicare for all, and 66% support universal healthcare. Jesse would be in the large minority on this one.

I am all for eating healthy and exercising, but that does not always prevent health issues or the onset of chronic illnesses from genetics emerging. People also do not “whine and go to the doctor for every ache and pain”. Because, famously, everyone loves scheduling and going to doctor’s appointments. Again, such a simplistic worldview. I am almost jealous of the complete lack of awareness and reality that Watters lives in. Also, MAHA? Give me a break! In just a year and a half, Health and Human Services HHS headed by Robert Kennedy Jr., who famously has no medical degree, has seen Measles outbreaks, Salmonella outbreaks, vaccine misinformation, FDA cuts, CDC cuts, grant cuts for research of cancer, NIH cuts, needless and dangerous overhauling of the childhood vaccine schedule, and a Cyclospora outbreak in lettuce. Seems like Make America Healthy Again is going great. I would not change a single thing.

In closing, I think we can all agree that we should start subscribing to “The Watters Plan”. That is, of course, if you are in favor of completely dismantling our public health infrastructure, massive spikes in premiums, no realistic healthcare plan that brings us anywhere near universal healthcare - in fact, it leaves us in a worse position than we are already in -, and dead bodies in the streets from foodborne illnesses. Just get a real job, you know? Tough it out, be a resilient, stubborn American and just Google your ailments. When you feel those sudden, tight chest compressions and shortness of breath, just remember you are being a weak baby who is clogging up the for-profit healthcare machine. The Watters Plan always has your back. Just not financially or for any productive health outcome. At least there are fewer immigrants in the country, I guess. What a joke. What a waste of TV studio