Donald Trump Has Officially Lost It
- Austin Abbring
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
Did he really have it to begin with?
By: Austin Abbring
July 2, 2026
I think we have reached a new low in Donald Trump’s cognitive functioning during his 2nd term. Yesterday, the president visited the state booths at the America 250 State Fair and had a full-blown conversation with an AI Theodore Roosevelt. Talk about a dystopian sentence to type out. You know, the same types of conversations you see your elder relatives having with plants or other inanimate objects around the home as their mind begins to slow down. Not trying to be ageist here, but it is the sad reality of the brain changing as we hit old age.
The brief exchange with the robotic Teddy covered national parks and the construction of the Panama Canal. The sentimental moment came at the end with Roosevelt stating, “Every day a president faces storms most people never see, but if you keep your nerve and remember the nation comes first, you get through. I know you know that feeling yourself. Real-life actual Donald Trump responded, “Well, I appreciate those words; those words are fantastic, and I just want to say it’s an honor to be with you today, and we are making a little bit of a tour, some of the fantastic things you’ve done.”
A few things here. One, if I were a member of the Secret Service, there is no possible way I could contain my laughter at watching the sitting U.S. president, at the young age of 80, have a heartfelt conversation with a hologram. Two, leave it to Trump to use his typical one-to-two-syllable grandiloquence even in the presence of fake President Roosevelt. He had to throw in a few “fantastics” for old time's sake. I feel we were robbed of a run-on, fragmented diatribe such as: “beautiful, huge national parks like no one has ever seen before. Many people don’t know this, but the Dumbocrats wanted to get rid of the parks, but I came in and stopped them. Elon and I, wonderful Elon, made sure to slash the hell out of the swamps of government agencies to have enough money to fund the parks. You know, crooked Hillary and sleepy Joe could not have done what I did. Obama was born in Kenya; they don’t have parks over there.” You get the picture. Thirdly, if there is a heaven, what do you think old Theodore would make of all of this? “What is this absolute jackass doing right now?”
For those brave enough to embrace the cringe, have at it:
Now, I’ll admit I saw a few clips of this “chat” on social media, and while scrolling through the comments, I saw numerous people jokingly saying (or what was supposed to be jokingly), “Give it a day or two, and he’ll claim he actually talked to Roosevelt.” I laughed, thought it was plausible, as anything is with this man, and hoped that would not become reality. I thought there was no way, not even Trump could stoop that low. Well, folks, I have been proven wrong. Donald Trump referenced this moment in a speech today at the opening ceremony of Roosevelt’s presidential library. It goes, unfortunately, as follows: “I even had a conversation with Theodore Roosevelt. I said, “What did you think about the Panama Canal? Do you consider it your greatest achievement? How do you feel about the fact that the Democrats gave the Panama Canal away to Panama for $1?” He then goes on to ramble on about tariffs and William McKinley.
Again, a few things here. Idiocracy, anyone? I hate that I have to keep citing an early-2000's fictional comedy film as an accurate social commentary on our current state of affairs. Terry Cruise for President, I guess? I want to reiterate, Trump, at an opening ceremony for President Roosevelt's presidential library, just cited a fake conversation with an AI bot and summed it up with “Democrats make bad deal, Republicans make good deal and are smarter”. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider…
The line, “How do you feel that Democrats “gave away” the Panama Canal to Panama?” sums up the entire Republican Party’s understanding of geopolitics. I can’t believe we gave a canal back to a country that lost at least 30 workers’ lives and were subjected to horrific exploitation at the hands of the United States in the construction process and for the decades following. You honestly expect me to believe that a country can maintain sovereignty and jurisdiction over its land and resources? Yes, the gradual return of the Panama Canal to Panama over two decades, as part of the Carter administration’s treaties with Panama, is a net positive. Panama was able to bolster their economy and regain preeminence over its territory, and the United States was able to secure a longstanding trading partner and build relationships with several Latin American countries following the treaties.
Finally, no, the Democrats did not give the Panama Canal back for $1. Negotiations began under the Nixon administration, you know, the famous Democrat Richard Nixon. I hope that if Trump somehow reads this, he will sense the sarcasm and know that Nixon was a Republican. Through the Torrijos-Carter Treaties, the canal was slowly, deliberately returned to Panama as part of a geopolitical deal, not a financial one. I wish someone would tell Trump’s speechwriter that Google is free and really easy to use. But then again, if Trump has to commence espousing reality, his entire movement collapses. Moral of the story here: can we please stop electing geriatric white men to be president of the free world, for whatever that is currently worth? Again, not trying to be ageist, but forced retirement at age 67 for all lawmakers and elected officials is a necessity.
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